Forever Inc. the pitch

Well, this is it. What you see is what we sent to publishers. A smarter man would have written a dialogue heavy 5 page pitch script that played on mine and >h2o's talents, but what's done is done. I stand by the fact that this is a good script with great art. Hopefully at least one publisher agrees.



Post Toasties

>h20 posted this page on his own blog, but I spent 3 minutes scripting it so I'm gonna take partial credit. This is page one of INKED.

I know, right?


Script sample

It's easier for artists to do this shit. Pictures, it would seem, are prettier than words:


Page five – 3 panels

[1] Wide shot from counter level. ALLEN and DREW are both kneeling to get a look at the laptop screen (the laptop is in the foreground between their heads). ALLEN is looking at DREW who is still scrutinizing the screen.

DREW: I'm just saying. Uncensored is more appropriate.
ALLEN: Ridiculous.

[2] Tighter shot of ALLEN, now standing with his fist raised in emphasis as he makes a pronouncement.

ALLEN: You know what's unfiltered? Beer. Tap's Original UNFILTERED Wheat beer.

[3] Wide shot of DREW and ALLEN from just behind JENNA. (She has just entered the store. If another panel is necessary to indicate this, go for it.) She’s either silhouetted or it’s an over the shoulder shot and all you can see is her hair. ALLEN is still standing with his arm in the air. DREW is fiddling with the laptop.

ALLEN: Not just beer. Great beer. In fact, I'll go ahead and say it. The ONLY domestic worth frosting a mug for.
JENNA: Woo Hoo! The man likes beer and he’s not afraid to SHOUT IT.

Page six – 6 panels

[1] Narrow vertical panel that stretches from top to bottom on the left side of the page. JENNA is standing in the door way smiling. She’s wearing a tight white t-shirt that’s been cut into a V at the neckline to show off her cleavage (I know you like skinny, but this chick is built like Lindsay Lohan. She has big breasts and thighs and she’s proud of them). The shirt is a promotional beer company logo shirt that reads “NEW Tap’s Ultra Blue!” (If it comes up, the back should say “Go Blue or Stay Home.”) The rest of her outfit consists of a low-cut skirt and cheap flip-flops. She’s holding her M T nametag in her left hand.

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[2] Medium shot of ALLEN with his hand still in the air. His eyes are wide and he looks mortified.

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[3] Same shot as panel 2 only ALLEN has pulled down his arm and is holding it with his other arm (almost like he grabbed it because it hurts). He’s looking halfway in between JENNA and the floor.

ALLEN: Ahh. . . ‘Morning Jenna.

[4] Close-up of JENNA pinning her name tag onto her Tap’s shirt.

JENNA: Back at ya.

[5] Medium shot of the counter. JENNA is facing the camera, leaning against the counter with her back and head tilted back to see what the still kneeling DREW is working on. ALLEN is “nonchalantly” checking out his stretching employee.

JENNA: So, Stretch, what’s the word?
DREW: My name—

[6] Extreme close-up of DREW’s hand slamming the laptop closed.


Page seven – 4 panels

[1] Wide shot of JENNA walking down one of the toy isles heading to the back of the store. Her hands are held up and out in a “whatever” pose as she’s still talking.

JENNA: Hey, if you guys want to PORN it up at work, who am I to judge? I just don’t get the secrecy. Gotta learn to let a girl IN every once in a while.

[2] Wide-shot of DREW and ALLEN behind the counter. This should be from a different angle than before. This is the reverse of the previous shot. ALLEN’s gaze is still following JENNA. DREW is facing the back wall, stocking video games.

ALLEN: You see that?
DREW: You’re going to have to be more specific.
ALLEN: Jenna’s shirt.
DREW: Yes, Allen, she altered the neckline to show off what I can only assume are the two reasons you hired her.
ALLEN: No. Well, yeah, saw that too. But I’m talking about the sparkly business below her-- neckline.

[3] Tighter shot from a different angle of ALLEN looking up at DREW who’s now standing on a step stool organizing more games.

ALLEN: What the HELL is Tap Ultra Blue?
DREW: I do not know, Allen. Why not ask the wearer of said shirt?
ALLEN: I can’t just—

[4] Close-up of JENNA, now sporting an official M T employee apron (tied low enough that her cleavage and much of the Tap Ultra logo remain visible).

JENNA: Tap guy was giving them out at The Hangar last night, part of some kind of image overhaul. I guess they’re nixing all six Original brews and coming out with “Tap Ultra.” The beer’s all sweet and colorful, but the shirts were kinda cute. Why, too much cleavage? Sometimes I get a little scissor happy.

[5] Extreme close-up of ALLEN’s shocked and appalled facial expression.

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