Monkey see

Here's the deal, everything from here down is really old. I'm leaving it because it's no one's fault but my own that this blog sat empty for so many moons. That said, this is all work from the kink-working-out stage and should not be held to any sort of standard. So, read the old stuff if you like, but please only take me to task on the new work.

Thanks.

--------------------------------
Some dude on digital webbing was looking for a writer to script his "Space Monkey" comic. I sent this to him and never received a reply. I suppose that means it sucks.

Bobo & Boy
a script for 8 pages

Page one – 7 panels

[1] Wide angle shot of an enormous retail super store (my vote is Hell-Mart, but it’s up to you). It’s late and the building is closed for the night. Streetlights shine down on the empty parking lot.

Pharmacy Joe: NINE years. I’m in school NINE years.

[2] Wide shot of the PHARMACY counter with its do-it-yourself blood-pressure station and condom racks. Behind the counter you can see the back of a scrawny man in a white lab coat. He’s leaning toward a shelf, tossing pill bottles back over his shoulders.

Pharmacy Joe: MEDICAL school. I could be saving lives.

[3] Tight shot on PHARMACY JOE’s gaunt face from the other side of the shelf. Pill bottles loom in the foreground as he works his way through them.

Pharmacy Joe: But not me. Spend my days peddling Luden’s cherry-flavored cough drops to pack-an-hour corpses trying to self-medicate EMPHYSEMA.

[4] Extreme close-up of his Hell-Mart Name tag. It has a red smiley face with devil horns in the left corner and reads PHARMACY: JOE.

Pharmacy Joe: And Prying 400 pound councilmen out of the GOD FORSAKEN blood pressure monitor.

[5] Tight shot of Joe’s bony hand gripping a large pill bottle.

Pharmacy Joe: Ah. There you are.

[6] Extreme close-up the opened pill bottle. It is completely empty.

Pharmacy Joe: Empty?

[7] High angle shot from above Pharmacy Joe. His back is arched and he’s staring up with his eyes wide and his mouth open, screaming. His whole body seems to have spontaneously combusted in blue-black flames.

Pharmacy Joe: AGGHHH!

-------------------------------------------------
Page two – 7 panels

[1] Wide high angle shot of Bobo and Boy in a classic convertible with the top down (think 60’s Impala). Boy is driving and Bobo is standing in the front seat holding a box of Girl Scout cookies. The back seat is piled full of similar boxes.

Bobo: Not that the Girl Scouts of America ARE an evil, subversive organization bent on world domination. I’m just saying, they have the perfect set up.

[2] Tight shot of Bobo. holding up the box so the cover image (a smiling and innocent girl scout) is in the foreground and continuing his rant.

Bobo: What are the two things you’d need to effectively conquer the earth. One: an army of paramilitary agents capable of infiltrating society without arousing suspicion. It’s PERFECT. These cutesy pigtails ring your doorbell, stare at their shoes for thirty seconds, and you’re wallet’s out like it’s last call at the strip club.

[3] Medium shot through the windshield of Boy watching the road, while Bobo flails his arms around, ranting.

Bobo: And two: a powerful mind-control substance widely distributed and voraciously consumed. Cookies, Boy, tiny delicious cookies that everyone and their super-genius space monkey loves to eat.

[4] Tight shot of Bobo’s hand pulling a sleeve full of cookies from the cookie box.

Bobo: Add to that the fact that they’re packaged in convenient sleeves designed to undermine the suggested serving size, thereby speeding the rate of consumption—

[5] Wide shot of the pile of cookie boxes filling the back seat. Bobo is in the foreground stretching out a hand, motioning toward the pile like a sideshow announcer revealing the freak behind the curtain.

Bobo: AND that they come in a variety of delectable flavors, each designed to appeal to a different segment of the population. It’s the perfect plot.

[6] Tight shot of Boy, finally taking his eyes off the road to turn and respond.

Boy: So, we’re NOT gonna eat the cookies?

[7] Tight shot of Bobo taking a bite out of a thin mint he’s removed from the cookie sleeve.

Bobo: ‘Course we are. Just need milk.

-------------------------------------------------------
Page three – 6 panels

[1] Wide angle shot of Boy’s convertible pulling into the parking lot of Hell-Mart. The police and fire department have constructed a perimeter around the building (SWAT truck, squad cars, fire truck).

No Copy

[2] Medium shot of a Gordon-esque police detective walking up to Boy’s convertible as he and Bobo climb out.

Detective: Bobo. Boy. Didn’t realize we’d called in the BIG DOGS.

Boy: We need milk.

Bobo: True story
Detective: ‘Fraid that might be a little tricky.

[3] Tighter shot of the Detective, Bobo and Boy as they walk with a purpose through the parking lot.

Detective: Hostage situation. The pharmacist has taken control of Hell-Mart.

Bobo: The pharmacist. Skinny guy, sunken eyes, kind of a mad scientist thing going on?

Detective: That’s the guy.

[5] Close-up of the detective’s hand, passing Bobo’s hand a file folder. Make the contents of the folder visible. A file with Pharmacy Joe’s employee photograph paper-clipped to the top.

Detective: Name’s Joseph Downs. Worked here eight years. Suffers from clinical depression and anger management issues.

Bobo: Shocking.

[6] Close-up of the detective’s stern face

Detective: Seems he’s been popping some pretty powerful pills. According to the pharmacy computer he’s on a daily cocktail of six high dosage anti-depressants and an experimental blood pressure medication— banned in the states after test patients began experiencing walking hallucinations and dementia.

[7] Close-up of Bobo looking unimpressed.

Bobo: So, some self-loathing lab coat all hopped up on rufies is holding a bunch of soccer moms hostage in the Hell-Mart? Sounds like a nightstick to the head kind of situation. Shouldn’t you be enjoying a cream-filled victory Long John right about now?

-------------------------------------------------------
Page four – 4 panel

[1] This is the money page, have fun with it. High angle wide shot of the Hell-mart interior. The place is an absolute zoo. Pharmacy Joe stands atop a tall shelf wearing the flames like a flowing cloak looking powerful. In the isles, mindless zombie shoppers stumble around knocking things over, tearing down displays, and chewing on one another. Joe is the most important image, but feel free to throw in random chaos in the background.

Detective: I wish it were that simple. Seems sometime after business hours last night, old Pharmacy Joe had a psychotic break— AND burst into flames.

Bobo: Flames?

Detective: Yes, flames. Entire body. Creepy blue flames.

Bobo: Oh.

[2] Medium shot of the prozac zombies causing mayhem. They’re basically zombie versions of really lazy people. They destroy things because it’s easier than not destroying things. Think of the laziest stoner you’ve ever met and make him/her a zombie.

Detective: The thing is, these flames do a lot worse than burn ya. Long story short, He’s turned all the customers into ZOMBIES. Employees too. Mindless. Fearless. Extremely unmotivated, creatures of the night.

[3] Tight shot of several SWAT team members and a few beat cops huddled around a knocked over display of donuts. Some of them are eating handfuls of donuts, others are hitting each other with baseball bats.

Detective: We’ve already lost eight officers, including S.W.A.T. The moment anyone gets near the guy, they lose interest in the mission and wander off to do the zombie thing.

[4] Medium shot of the Detective and Bobo. The cop is looking down at Bobo, but Bobo is looking over his shoulder at the Hell-Mart entrance (if you can see it in this shot, there’s one of those coin operated space ship rides near the entrance).

Detective: At this point, we’ve pretty much resigned ourselves to sealing off the entrance and waiting for this guys drugs to wear off.

Bobo: Detective, that plan SUCKS.

-------------------------------------------------------
Page five – 5 panels

[1] Close-up on Bobo’s face as he glares up at the cop. He looks intense and unwavering.

Bobo: First of all, this Pharmacy Joe could NOT have gotten powers from taking prescription drugs. It’s far MORE likely that he developed them after running OUT of drugs. I suspect that over time, his brain built up an immunity to all those HAPPY PILLS and when he stopped taking them, he got REALLY, REALLY sad. These FLAMES of his are just the physical manifestation of that overwhelming sadness.

Secondly, there are a whole lot of innocent shoppers in that store, and l bet they’re ALL having really unpleasant afternoons.

But most importantly, Boy and I just bought a SHIT TON of cookies and we’re in DIRE need of milk.

[2] Medium shot from behind the barricade line of Bobo and Boy marching toward the door. If possible, put the detective in the foreground, watching them go.

No Copy

[3] Tight shot of Bobo and Boy. Bobo has climbed up Boy’s chest and is clinging to the front of Boy’s shirt so he can look the large fellow in the eye.

Bobo: You ready to do this, Boy? It’s going to be ugly in there, but we can handle it. Just stay away from the burning man’s fire.

Boy: Okay.

Bobo: And think happy thoughts. I don’t think he can hurt you if you’re happy.

Boy: Okay.

Bobo: Oh, and boy—

[4] Medium shot of Bobo leaning up against the coin operated space ship. He looks relaxed like he’s not planning to go anywhere any time soon.

Bobo: Don’t forget the Milk.

[5] Medium shot from Bobo’s perspective of Boy walking through the automatic door.

No Copy

[6] Tight shot of Bobo looking longingly over his shoulder at the coin-op space ship.

Bobo: Hmm. Old habits--

[7] Extreme close-up of a monkey hand dropping a coin into the coin slot.

Bobo: Die hard.

----------------------------------------------------------
Page six & seven – 11 panels in a double page spread

[1] This page is split between Bobo riding the space ship and Boy’s battle inside the Hell-mart. The first panel is Bobo smiling broadly as the ship shakes and jostles.

Bobo: Woo Hoo.

[2] Boy standing in the foreground watching zombie children thrash the toy section.

No Copy

[3] Medium shot of Boy walking off panel with a bunch of groaning zombie kids piled into one of those ceiling-high netted ball displays.

Kids: Grrn. Egh. Snrrrl.

[4] Tight shot of Bobo in the space ship. He’s holding his eyes are open wide and he’s grinning serenely.

Bobo: It has been TOO long!

[5] Tight shot of Boy running along pushing a shopping cart loaded with 3 struggling zombies

Zombies: Moannn. Bleghh.

[6] Another shot of Bobo in the space ship. He now has his arms over his head like a kid on a roller coaster.

Bobo: Wheee!

[7] Medium shot of Boy beating the crap out of the cops and the SWAT team with their own baseball bat.

No Copy

[8] Wide shot of boy picking a gallon of milk out of the cooler. Somewhere in the shot, the zombie cops are trapped behind glass fronted cooler doors.

Boy: Milk.

[9] Close-up on Bobo’s face. His eyes are now closed and he’s clearly in ecstasy.

No Copy

[10] Medium shot of Bobo pulling the cutest puppy ever out of a puppy display in the pet section.

Boy: PUPPIES! Everybody loves puppies.

[11] Medium shot of Bob sitting in the no longer moving space ship.

Bobo: Well, that was really something. WHEW! Takes a LOT out of you.

----------------------------------------------------------
Page eight – 3 panels

[1] Medium shot of Boy walking through the automatic doors. He’s pushing a shopping cart in which sits Pharmacy Joe and his new puppy. Joe looks happy and has lost his flames. A gallon of milk sits in the child seat part of the cart.

Pharmacy Joe: Aren’t you just the C-UTEST little thing? Yes you are. Yes you are.

[2] Close-up of the detective’s dumbstruck _expression.

Detective: How did you?

[3] Medium shot of the detective watching Bobo and Boy walk off into the parking lot. Boy is swinging the milk jug in his left hand. Bobo is holding his hand in the air in sort of a half-hearted wave.

Bobo: It’s what we do.

Caption 1: End.